Once upon a time, last year, yesterday, today and in tomorrow there lived a little girl. She was known as little girl because the world was so big and she was so small. On the outside she seemed to be like everyone else but deep inside she knew that she was different. And she was different because she was she; there was only one of her in the entire universe and after her death there would never ever be any like her.Yet despite being different from others, she was just like the other people, like others she had her insecurities and fears. Her moments of strength and her moments of weakness.
Now little girl had a constant companion, who was with her through thick and thin; a companion that she called fear of loneliness. She also had a secret quest; a search for love, true love but little did she realize that because of her constant companion she had always accepted any kind of love that came her way, it didn’t matter if the love was good or if the love was bad as long as it was love. (One might question what is ‘bad’ love? For isn’t all love good? Well ‘bad’ love is love that only takes without giving). So little girl went with people who did not really love her. Though she knew that they were pretending for her anything was better than nothing.
For she was afraid, of being alone. So little girl fell into the habit of pretending to be who she was not, being happy when she was not. She tried and tried to suppress who really was just so that she could be accepted, just so she could fit in, just to be loved a little.The biggest mistake little girl always made was pretending to be strong, afraid that others would mock her if she showed them her weakness, her fears they would use it to their advantage. At times she tried to break free and live only for herself but then the people she loved would end up being hurt. So she would stop being herself and be what others wanted her to be .And the little girl grew up, half alive, never herself and never getting the love she so badly needed.
Then one fine day, when little girl was all grown up in the eyes of the world but still was a child inside, she saw Love but because she had seen love walk past her so many times, she stood aside and waited for Love to walk away. To her surprise this Love did not walk away, it stopped and asked her for her hand. Little girl was so surprised that she just stood there afraid to breathe for fear of seeing Love disappear. Still Love stood there but because she had never trusted anyone ever she decided that this Love was playing an awful trick on her, thus she decided to test this Love. She was sure that this love was leave anyway so she pushed, she hurt, she screamed and she shouted. Love still didn’t walk away. Little girl began to grow alarmed. She did not want to pull down her defenses for in doing so she could be hurt horribly. She realized that she was so used to her loneliness that she was now afraid of love. Yet Love danced around the walls that she had created over the years. Love slowly stripped down the walls half way. Then Love told her that he could only break down half the walls, the other half she had to break her self. With the walls half way down for the first time in her life she could finally feel the warm sunshine. It was the most beautiful thing that she had ever felt and she was happy as she had never been. Yet because the walls were only half broken her constant companion was still crouched in the shadows of the remaining walls. But little girl was still afraid so when Love asked her if she had broken down all the walls she answered yes; she felt that she needed a little darkness for her self where she could hide if Love were to hurt her.
Like everyone else who has met love knows that love is not always kind and so many a time love was intensely cruel to her. Little girl could not understand how love could be so cruel and she wept. As she thought, she understood that the more pain she felt the more her soul deepened. Soon she realized that she had learned to swallow her pride to be humble, she had learned to beg but she also knew that there was no shame in begging. In begin a beggar the real shame should be felt by those who walk away. So she was happy.
Then in one especially cruel moment that love gave her, little girl began to wonder whether it was worth, whether life was worth living. And so she thought and thought. Suddenly she knew that live was worth living as long as there was something to live for. She looked at the half broken down walls, she knew that the walls were keeping in fear with her just but they were also keeping out love. She also knew that the walls were still standing because it was she who didn’t want to break them down. She found her courage and finally broke them down. In that instant her fear no longer had a place to hide, and it fled, for like things of darkness fear is afraid of light.
Her feet were no longer bound, she could move. Where earlier she had only been able to stand in the sunlight now she could move. And she moved, she laughed, she ran and she danced. She knew that she was ready even if Love wanted to leave, if love wanted to hurt her. If that love did not want her anymore she could always find more.
She saw the greener grass on the other side of her wall that she had always wanted. Then she looked down at the grass under her feet and she realized that it was just as green but because of the shadow of her walls had seemed paler.With her fear gone she could accept love, everything it could offer; the good the bad, the sadness and the joy.
Little girl laughed and walked away holding love in her arms and in her heart.
